Albert Tucher
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Another old favorite added to my writing samples.
December 6th, 2011 14:56 by Albert Tucher
My technical consultant gave me the title, Enlarge Your Penis, and challenged me to write a story under it. What else need I say?
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Guest blogging today.
November 4th, 2011 13:27 by Albert Tucher
I'm over at Patti Abbott's place blogging about a book I stumbled over in the unplumbed depths of the Newark Public Library's biography collection. It's a prison memoir called Lonesome Road, by George Harsh, and it has the kind of improbable twists that would earn only derision in fiction.
The Library was founded in 1883, and many of the older collections were cataloged according to pre-automation rules, which gave little access beyond authors and title--no subject analysis, no Dewey classification. They are simply filed alphabetically by the biographee. To make things worse, despite our unceasing efforts since the early 1980s, many of the 1.5 million items in the Library's collections have been missed in the conversion to our current online catalog. In other words, nobody knew we had this book until I pulled it off the shelf.
Here it is now:
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Time for another story.
October 21st, 2011 23:55 by Albert Tucher
Frisson, one of my favorite flash stories, which originally appeared in the lamented zine Thug Lit, is now linked to my writing samples section.
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Location, location, location!
August 24th, 2011 17:06 by Albert Tucher
Another online friend, Wayne Dundee, is engaged in putting his novels and stories about PI Joe Hannibal out on e-books. Joe is a great hardboiled character, but to me the best part of Wayne's work is his use of underserved locations like Illinois and Nebraska. If Truman Capote hadn't already alerted us to the noir potential of the Midwest, Wayne's stories would do it.
Check out a representative novel:
and Wayne's website:
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Keep 'em coming!
August 20th, 2011 23:04 by Albert Tucher
Another of my online writing friends has a new e-book out. Timothy Hallinan has just published the second novel in his Junior Bender series:
The author describes the book as follows:
Junior Bender is a San Fernando valley burglar, an unhappily divorced man who still cares for his former wife and adores his 12-year-old daughter, Rina. Junior's a very, very good burglar. Despite plying his trade for most of his late-teen and adult life, he's never been arrested. He also runs a profitable, if dangerous, sideline: he works as a private eye for crooks. When someone does something crooked to a crook, the police are often not an option. The option is Junior.
This moonlighting has not made him popular with some members of the LA underworld, and with the cops also interested in him, Junior lives in a series of motels, in a region that's especially rich in awful motels. The motel of the month is part of each book, in one way or another. (In LITTLE ELVISES, it's Marge 'n Ed's North Pole.)
In LITTLE ELVISES, Junior is forced by a corrupt cop to go to the rescue of an old record producer, a guy who, in the sixties, grabbed handsome boys off of Philadelphia stoops and turned them into little Elvises for six months or a year, until the fans got tired of them. A supermarket-tabloid journalist has been murdered on Hollywood Boulevard and the cops think the music producer did it because -- well, because he was planning to do it. He was even scouting for a hit man, which someone told the cops, but somebody else got to the journalist first. So the story takes Junior into the arena of old-time rock-and-roll, missing persons, the world's oldest still-dangerous gangster, a murderer of young women, and a terrifying if somewhat hapless hit man named Fronts.
Look like a rip to me, and it's on my list.
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Beat me to it!
August 15th, 2011 22:25 by Albert Tucher
The Pentagon refuses to confirm or deny anything about the Delta Force, but rumors persist about an all-female unit colloquially known as the Funny Platoon. I have been thinking for some time that there is a series of thrillers in that idea. Little did I know until just recently that Zoe Sharp has a terrific series about Charlie Fox, a female Special Forces veteran turned bodyguard. The latest book is available for the Kindle:
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The Return of Miss Winser
July 30th, 2011 16:21 by Albert Tucher
I have just added Miss Winser Will Pour to my writing samples.
On July 21, 2011, the temperature in Newark reached 108 degrees. That is a record for the city, but Newark has always suffered from extreme summer heat. In this story Miss Winser soldiers on without air conditioning or the casual dress we have become used to in recent years to find the desperado among her assistants who has thrown away charge slips and recklessly consumed food in the Lending Department.
Those were firing offenses in her day, and in the Depression year of 1931, firing was serious indeed. Can Miss Winser mix mercy with severity?
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Another Challenge
June 13th, 2011 15:35 by Albert Tucher
Over at the Do Some Damage blog Steve Weddle has challenged the crime writing community to write beach noir. It seemed to make a good fit with my Technical Consultant's dread of encountering clients while on her own time. What if Diana went to the beach and ran into the last man she wanted to see?
I just posted Sharks in my writing samples section.
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And I Don't Mean Hawaii Five-Oh.
May 17th, 2011 23:20 by Albert Tucher
In 1994 my brother and sister-in-law were about to spend their first Thanksgiving in Hawaii, where he had started an assignment with the Coast Guard. They had just arrived, and they knew hardly anyone. I decided to do my family duty and fly out to spend the holiday with them. I had zero interest in Hawaii. I had a vague idea that it was like Florida.
Ten trips later I love Hawaii more than ever, but mine might not be everyone’s Hawaii. I have seen Waikiki and enjoyed high tea at the Hilton, but I believe that anyone who sees nothing else has wasted a lot of time, money and effort.
I have visited Oahu, Maui and Kauai, but my favorite island is the island of Hawaii aka the Big Island. Roughly the size of Connecticut, it has a resident population of about 150,000. Vast areas are deserted, which makes it very different from Hawaii Five-Oh territory on Oahu, the location of the City and County of Honolulu.
On the Big Island I have baked on the beaches of Kona and Kohala and nearly frozen nine thousand feet up Mauna Kea, but I love the rainforest side of the island most. Hilo might be my favorite American city to visit.
I mention all of this because, when something fascinates me as much as the Big Island, I have to write about it, and two of my unpublished novels take place largely on the Big Island. In Tentacles, my second novel, Diana Andrews travels to the island with a client who neglects to mention that some very nasty people are after him. In The Good Place, currently the fifth novel in my series and chronologically the last, she returns to save her sister from even more ruthless pursuers.
The first trip nearly gets her killed in the Waipi’o Valley in the northeast corner of the island. This valley lies almost a thousand feet below the surrounding terrain, and the only route down is so steep that two-wheel-drive vehicles can’t keep their grip on the road. Down below, forty to fifty residents live cut off from cell phone coverage and even electricity in some cases. The inhabitants feud often and settle their own disputes, and the Hawaii County police usually prefer to leave them to it.
On one of my hikes into the valley, I was making my way upstream to the famous Hi’ilawe Falls, when I encountered a barrier across the stream and a “kapu” sign. (“Forbidden.”) Legally, this is nonsense. Streambeds are public property, and I had every right to be where I was. But I also knew that no one was going to enforce my rights. I withdrew, unwillingly but still in one piece. It was frustrating, but also fascinating, because it shows what fertile ground this island is for a writer of crime fiction.
In fact, the rainforest side of the island is notorious for its population of ‘Sixties holdovers, fugitives, marijuana farmers, meth dealers, and survivalists. Rumor has it that the U.S. Marshalls like to stash protected witnesses on the Big Island. It makes intuitive sense, because no one stands out in a multi-ethnic population of eccentrics and strangers. Of course, the Marshalls neither confirm nor deny.
These two novels have also led to a spin-off short story that I consider one of my best. More detail will have to wait, because that story is currently under consideration in a contest.
More Hawaii will also follow. I have ten trips worth of surprises and encounters to report.
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The length puzzle
April 26th, 2011 14:34 by Albert Tucher
When I started writing about Diana Andrews, for several years I wrote only at novel length. By 2003 my first three novels were in their second or third drafts, and I had good starts on the fourth and fifth books.
Then for tactical reasons I started writing short stories. My plan was to build a publishing resume that might impress the agents and editors I was querying.
Since then, everything I have written has come out as a short story or at most a novella. And even the short stories tend to clump together in terms of length. For a couple of years during my Muzzle Flash period, I wrote one flash story after another. Currently, everything is settling down in the seven to ten thousand word range. My writing friend Sandra Seamans recently alerted me to a new flash fiction outlet called Shotgun Honey. I thought I had an idea for a flash story about Diana discovering that the "college call girl" is not just urban folklore.
That was five thousand words ago, and I have three or four thousand to go. Apparently the god of word count must be appeased.
It makes me thankful for online magazines and e-books, where awkward lengths are more welcome. Few print magazines have the pages to devote to a long short story.
All of this raises questions. Is there some writing process going on here, or is it coincidence? And if I had started with short stories, would I have written the novels at all?
No idea.
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